A Grouch’s mission in life is to be as miserable and grouchy as possible, and pass that feeling on to everyone else. Only then will a Grouch feel in touch with his or her world and be happy. Yet, even though a Grouch may show happiness at anyone’s misfortune (including his or her own), a Grouch would never admit to being happy. Such is the stability of a Grouch’s life: so balanced, and yet so unbalanced. Oscar is especially aware of this.

Anything a Grouch likes is best described (to you and me) as rotten, smelly, yucky, awful, dirty and trashy to name a few. A Grouch will only buy appliances that don’t work, keep pets no person would keep in a house (such as elephants and worms), eat foods that are undesirable for any reason (they have a particular affinity for sardines in anything), sing out-of-tune, play the radio at high volume, and bathe in mud.

Happy National Grouch Day!