When I worked in the corporate world, we had lots of meetings; I developed a habit of “meeting poetry” to pass the time. Here’s my version of the debate:
You wait as if you’re watching live theater – but the actors are a bit drunk and have all slept with each other.
I know Donald Trump’s little idiosyncrasies will turn into Saturday Night Live sketch later in the week. He sniffed again, adjusted the microphone.
Hillary Clinton supports the second amendment but just wants to eliminate some of the senseless 33,000 gun deaths a year in America.
Donald Trump wants to overturn Roe vs Wade. He said women should be punished for having abortions. Scare rhetoric.
The US Government should not regulate women’s health.
Wall versus no plan for supporting border.
We need strong borders to keep the drugs out of the country. I want to build a wall. We all want the wall. Get all the drug lords. Bad bad people have to go out SNIFF. Bad hombres need to get out.
Carla’s parents might be deported and Hillary doesn’t want to separate parents from children.
Donald takes a drink.
We would have to put people on trains and buses to send them out of our country.
Deport violent people!
Who’s paying for the wall? Not the President of Mexico, who is a very nice man. Nafta is bad and it’s Bill’s fault.
Undocumented labor to build Trump tower. You complain? I get you deported!
Obama has deported millions. It happened “bigly,” Donald says. He said it again. Is he saying “big league” or “bigly?”
$225K to Hillary for talk to a Brazilian bank. (How do I get speaking fees like that?!)
Quoting from WikiLeaks. Uh oh.
Russian government engaged in espionage! Always the bad Russians.
From Putin himself! 17 of our intelligence agencies have concluded Russians are doing this from highest Kremlin to influence our election. Gasp! The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming!
She wants open borders! People are coming from Syria! From everywhere!
He wants to end Radical Islamic Terrorism and she is ignoring the whole concept!
He doesn’t know Putin but thinks it would be nice to be friends.
Putin rather have a puppet as president.
Russian cyber attacks!
Putin has a favorite (and it’s not Hillary?)
17 agencies! 17 agencies! But he believes Putin.
Does Donald condemn interference? Of course, he does! Putin is not Donald’s best friend! (But it would be nice.)
Donald says, “If we have them, why don’t we use them?”
Ice cream break (me not them).
Families making less than $125K/year should not get a tuition bill if they go to a public college.
Trickle down economics on steroids? Eek. We don’t want ‘roid rage.
Twenty trillion dollars in debt? I thought I was bad! Oh and Obama cut the deficit by 2/3! Worst inherited debt ever!
We’re going to terminate NAFTA and make a new deal! America is dying with a 1% GDP! India growing 8%, China growing at 7% and us … so bad! Our country is stagnant. We lost our jobs and our business and we don’t make anything. Products are pouring in from China and Vietnam and all over the world.
No tax raise for anyone making less than $250K.
Not top down, middle up!
The Trump hotel in Las Vegas is made with CHINESE STEEL!
She has 30 years experience. He says he did a better job because he started with a one million dollar loan and built a phenomenal company.
Hillary gave us Isis! But don’t worry, she’s going to get rid of Isis.
Talk about grabbing women. Nine women came forward and said they were groped and kissed without his consent. Why did they make this up since you deny this?
Trump says he doesn’t know those people. Stories are totally false. I didn’t know any of these women. Hillary’s campaign did it! All lies and fiction.
Donald thinks belittling women makes him bigger.
Let’s demonstrate who we are and who our country is and what we expect from our next president. Do we want to pit people one against the other or lift people up and make our country even better?
Nobody has more respect for women than Donald Trump. Those stories have been debunked.
She criminally destroyed 33,000 emails! What happened to FBI? I don’t know. She’s lied to people, to Congress, to the FBI! She’s getting away with it!
Talk about that – not fame or fiction from her campaign.
Denying responsibility. Never apologizes.
WRONG Donald interjects with duck lips.
A pattern of the divisiveness of dark and dangerous vision of our country where he incites violence. That is not who America is!
WHAT KIND OF COUNTRY ARE WE GOING TO HAVE?
Uh oh, Hillary took lots of money for the Clinton Foundation from bad people. She should give it back, Donald says. Huh?
Oh and Donald still hasn’t released his tax returns. Donald has not paid a penny in federal income tax.
We’re entitled to take massive charges on depreciation because of her laws.
Donald says the election is rigged and Hillary is stealing it from you. She should never have been allowed to run.
Google “Donald Trump Iraq”
WRONG Donald interjects with duck lips. (He does this many times.)
There was a lot of arguing about Iran and I fell asleep.
Good night and good luck, America.