“I Miss My Sister” Club

I was convinced I wrote about this club dozens of times; so much so that I didn’t believe the search function on my own blog. I miss my sister every single day, thinking about her many times a day, what she could be doing right now – or how she would handle any situation I might be in.

I think of her especially as my father is grappling with his sister, dying of cancer. Sisters are forever; we cannot divorce them or break up with them. Sisters are magical witnesses to your fucked up (or blissful) childhood and only they know the unique history attached to the titles, “mom” and “dad.”

How many of us are desperately missing our sisters right now?

My sister and I have not lived in the same city for over five years and for better or worse I’ve gotten accustomed to our long distance relationship. Most of our communication is done electronically via text, phone, FaceTime and we see each other a couple of times a year for a day or two at a time – always because she makes the trip down to New York rather than I to Maine with my family of four.

For four years, my sister and I lived five blocks apart on Manhattan’s upper Eastside. Additionally, we worked in the same office, in the same department, with her cubicle directly outside my office. This was not just a memorable and fun period of our life, it was freaking cool. Life brought us together when we both desperately needed one another. We had a pulse on where either one of us was at any time of day and we were there to celebrate everyday victories or to mourn annoying disappointments. We watched American Idol and ate dinner and frozen yogurt on my couch. We knew it was special, we knew it wasn’t permanent, and we savored it as much as we could but life evolved. Men entered our picture and families grew and our branches separated; she liked it cold and rural and I could never break up from NYC. She happily sought refuge to Maine.

I am convinced there is divine enchantment in a sisterly bond, a genetic link that convenes way beyond molecules. Sisters understand this; we live it. My sister is more than a best friend and different than a husband. The love I have for my sister is unlike what I feel for my parents or for my children, but it comes from the same place, deep down from source of the strongest love I can produce.

I’m relatively certain our current circumstances aren’t permanent; life is nothing if not a constant transition. The miles which stretch between us is physical distance, but it’s not an inch farther from her forever home in my heart. She will always be on my side, I will always be on hers. Whenever I hear the word, “sister,” I’m flooded with a warm nostalgia mixed with longing and I thank my lucky stars I have one of those.

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14 thoughts on ““I Miss My Sister” Club

  1. I have three that I wasn’t priveledged to be raised with, I was denied that opportunity. I envy your relationship, and while I do have a brother who lives close, we don’t share that close a bond either. Not like what you speak of. Cherish it. Life is short.

  2. Whenever you wonder what I am doing, it’s the same as you…missing you!

    I think about you constantly and always wrestle with my decision to leave. I had a choice to stay and be insane or leave and try to be calm. No matter what, I can always be there in a second and you know I would.

    We have the most special bond and that makes me feel safe, to know that you are there, a part of me as I am a part of you…cut from the same fabric…always a phone call or facetime away.

    As people enter our lives, they will also leave, but we will always have each other. And when we die, it will be at the same exact moment with no pain. I love you so much and I’m so proud of you.

  3. You forgot about the part where we’re Gray Gardens – but the clean and organized version – bc you know, my anxiety, but the cats! We will need to have a Beth Stern type cat haven. Sometime before the painless death please.

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  6. Matteo Maniscalco

    You are amazing women and I feel extremely lucky to be a part of your world. I so much admire your passion, spirit, love for each other, creativity and all of the other intangibles that make you so unique. You both inspire me more than you know.

  7. Thank you! Right now I feel like I’m on mile 24 of the marathon and I’m exhausted and instead of feeling euphoric and proud, I’m leaning towards familiar habits and discounting everything I’ve done as “no big deal.”

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  11. You guys are what I hope to foster in my children. Unfortunately sisters can and do break up, and I read this post (WAY late) because I relate to the title, but turns out I like your version of sisters better than what I have. It’s good to see in the world.

  12. Life is long and short all the same and I figure every single day is a blank slate and another chance to get exactly what you want out of life – and a relationship maybe? I’m no expert as I don’t speak with not one single member of my husband’s family. When I see those family holiday dinners, I throw up. Also, my sister lives far away and we only see each other a few times a year. Maybe it helps the relationship.

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