Writing it down

Lately I’ve developed a compulsion to write everything down. Stringing words together and composing sentences in the shower, I want to write it all down – remember it – capture it. I stare at people in the subway and craft their character descriptions in my head…

Divorced, single mom but doing well. She went back to school for medical lab technologists – did the 10 month program but it took her 2 years because she got knocked up in the middle. She saw the ad on the subway and thought now, that’s what I want to do when I grow up. And by grow up, I mean exactly that. She can’t be more than 18.

Do I write it all down to remember it forever or because I like words on paper? What’s with the obsession to tell everyone what happened? Does anyone even care about the bullshit of my life? Stories unfold around me, colors surround me, and the world is creating a movie, in which I’m the star.

2008 threw me for a loop — an easier than expected surgery, a stubborn splinter, a fat lady fell into me and broke my knee. And for the grand finale, I got “terminated.” The mundane dailies of my life that are never truly mundane.

But recently this drive to write has got me thinking – if a person feels this strong obligation towards anything – shouldn’t that define their career path? Can the key to career success be to do what you absolutely can’t go without doing? Doctors are driven by medicine and science – they can’t imagine doing anything else. A passion that comes from within – you cannot teach it, recreate it, or fake it.

My last job was a joke. It was like playing office when I was a kid – only I never liked to play office. My sister and her friend, Simona loved to play office. They put a sign on the door, set up piles of papers across her dressers to recreate an office set up and pretended to be on calls, scheduling meetings. They were dead on – oh the things we learned from TV in the late 80s / early 90s. Thank you, Melrose Place. I have spent 13 years in the career world looking for an office that’s one iota as hot.

Maybe we should think back to the things we liked to do in our childhood and use that as a springboard for determining career satisfaction? And if so, I feel stumped. I didn’t play with toys much. I liked to gossip with the adults and contribute my two cents – always wanting my pedestal to give my opinion, provide my latest rant.

And then there were the forms in the TV Guide. I loved filling those out. Only a few lines per card and they always had wide margins. I was able to perfect my handwriting. The ink would flow out from the different pens and I would watch as the thick card inserts soaked up the ink one letter at a time.

So I find myself wondering … what kind of predictor is that? Maybe my blog needs to go paper?

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