I always have a pen and in order to maintain my sanity during meetings, I write down phrases uttered. This was all one person’s dialog during a one-hour meeting. Contradictory? Check. Condescending? Check. Absolutely clueless that this is what she projects? CHECK!
Meeting Poetry II
We are in a bubble
she says.
We are hovering
that’s what we’re doing.
We’re that close –
every little thing counts.
Go for it!
But always check it.
Stick with the plan
What we did last time didn’t work
Don’t cannibalize our core business
I don’t want to have this conversation again
I’m going to get tired of this real fast
We spent 45 minutes dealing with this
I don’t remember the details
Go figure out what we decided to do
and do it forever more.
Let’s do this without a conversation
I want to see the plan.
I’m really annoyed right now.
A mistake was made We caught it
That’s not true
You’re wrong
This is an acquisition moment.
Get new eyeballs to get flat.
Get new people.
Let’s pretend that we have 4 million people in our network
Direct your energies to tweaking.
It’s a catch 22.
Legitimate resources
Results suck.
I’m sorry to disagree with you,
but…
I agree with you,
but…
Was this what I approved last time?
My mistake.
Declining
Minuscule
Be aware of it!
So much risk involved in the one day.
Why? Why? Why?
I’m not asking why?
What can we do to change it?
We have an opportunity…
I’m gonna spend a fuck-load of money
I better see a fuck-load of shit
We have done shit – literally.
Oh my god, if I don’t get this information, I’m going to die.
Sounds like a dumb ass bitch that doesn’t know what the hell she wants. And will probably never get married.
Thank you for this! I really needed a reminder that I am not alone in experiencing the rampant absurdity that is my working life.
almost makes me want a day job. Not! Maybe we should start taking notes in our conversations? What would be revealed?