“Pondulating the Origins of Sex” Club

My husband and I recently got into a funny conversation the other day which keeps rearing its strange and perverted head. This discussion evolved from trying to decipher if sexual idiosyncrasies and preferences among men (or women) come instinctively or are learned from social cues, media or watching porn. For instance, where did men learn ejaculating all over a woman’s face is titillating and something for which to strive? 

Our discourse on dick-course continued and I wondered aloud if we (humans) would know how to have sex if we grew up on a desert island without any artistic or media influence or stimulation. How did Adam and Eve figure out how to populate the world if there were no romantic comedies, Playboy Magazine, or the Joy of Sex to tell them how to do it?

My husband is convinced we would have figured it out. He hypothesized an entire sequence of events. He would enter puberty, have a wet dream, and then slowly begin to explore his body and eventually this curiosity would lead him to put his penis in a vagina. I think this is preposterous and feel further validated by the same shocked reaction delivered by every child who first hears the birds and bees story.

Every species on earth instinctually figures out how to reproduce, through precise biologically-programmed designed to keep the species alive. (Except for the pandas, who need porn in captivity, which makes total sense because who wants to fuck while on public display in jail? ) Yet, throughout my life, sexual imagery and romantic behavior surrounds me. It’s virtually impossible in our society to form sexual thoughts independently, without the bias of veiled erotic suggestion in every direction we look. Even children-focused TV shows and animated movies have romantic plot lines. Many of the traditional fables revolve around the romance because the stories were handed down as folklore until the Brothers Grimm got a hold of them (CinderellaSleeping Beauty, Rapunzel). The medium is irrelevant; nothing trumps an enchanting love story replete with a token happily ever after ending or alternatively a money shot.

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7 thoughts on ““Pondulating the Origins of Sex” Club

  1. This dips into oral and written history. For as long as people have been putting ink to paper (whatever type of paper)- there has been porn. It may have been as simple as one stick figure humping another stick figure, or if you had a particularly talented drawer- things became more detailed. You find many interesting things on battlefields or places where ancient armies camped out. If you didn’t have women- you had pictures. Or limericks.

    As far as families- this was one of the benefits of many generations living together under the same roof. It may sound crazy, but that was one of the things you learned from the older women in your house- how to run a household (cook, clean, take care of the kids, entertain neighbors), and how to please your future husband. It may have been simple verbal instructions, or it may have included vegetable visual aids.

    I’m not sure if the men were similarly instructed, or their curiosity just lead to abusing farm animals…

  2. Your line “our discourse on dick-course” is brilliant.
    I enjoyed the read and have been wondering the same thing lately. Who decided it would be a good idea to influence men into thinking bukake is a turn on? Why is porn almost always filmed for men?

    A change is needed.

  3. Nice blog – never liked clubbing much – but those you have here are looking interesting.

    Thank you,

    p.s. if we were left to nature, the man would likely want to put it wherever you were telling him not too. But, everything about sex is so very non-random. I was just reading how even the shape of the head of a man’s penis evolved for the purpose of scraping out sperm deposited by the competition.

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