My husband and I recently got into a funny conversation the other day which keeps rearing its strange and perverted head. This discussion evolved from trying to decipher if sexual idiosyncrasies and preferences among men (or women) come instinctively or are learned from social cues, media or watching porn. For instance, where did men learn ejaculating all over a woman’s face is titillating and something for which to strive?
Our discourse on dick-course continued and I wondered aloud if we (humans) would know how to have sex if we grew up on a desert island without any artistic or media influence or stimulation. How did Adam and Eve figure out how to populate the world if there were no romantic comedies, Playboy Magazine, or the Joy of Sex to tell them how to do it?
My husband is convinced we would have figured it out. He hypothesized an entire sequence of events. He would enter puberty, have a wet dream, and then slowly begin to explore his body and eventually this curiosity would lead him to put his penis in a vagina. I think this is preposterous and feel further validated by the same shocked reaction delivered by every child who first hears the birds and bees story.
Every species on earth instinctually figures out how to reproduce, through precise biologically-programmed designed to keep the species alive. (Except for the pandas, who need porn in captivity, which makes total sense because who wants to fuck while on public display in jail? ) Yet, throughout my life, sexual imagery and romantic behavior surrounds me. It’s virtually impossible in our society to form sexual thoughts independently, without the bias of veiled erotic suggestion in every direction we look. Even children-focused TV shows and animated movies have romantic plot lines. Many of the traditional fables revolve around the romance because the stories were handed down as folklore until the Brothers Grimm got a hold of them (Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel). The medium is irrelevant; nothing trumps an enchanting love story replete with a token happily ever after ending or alternatively a money shot.