The app DubSmash allows you to record yourself lip-synching to any piece of audio – song or movie clip. Within two days of download, I was entertained for hours and completely addicted. But beyond me, I knew my husband would LOVE this; he’s a professionally-trained actor. It would be like asking a baseball player if he wanted to go to the batting cage. This morning … Continue reading “I Played Hookie With My Hubby” Club
I don’t remember Russian lullabies and my mother swears I never took to baby talk or songs. The only Russian songs I know are by Alla Pugacheva. She is like the Russian Taylor Swift of the 70s. I grew up enamored with her sad Russian love songs and ballads about multicolored roses. When we landed on American soil, the soundtrack which accompanied my parents through … Continue reading “Music Triggers Memories” Club
Five years ago I accompanied my aunt to her visit at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, where she received her sentence to battle with ovarian cancer. It was the day which sent the trajectory of her life in an altogether different plight. Forced to stare at mortality by this invisible killer, she embarked on the fight of her life. Our little family could only witness … Continue reading “I Witnessed a Cancer Diagnosis” Club
In starting my 365-day writing project, I vowed to write every day. I imagined I would work on 250-500 word essays, but in reality and practice, I acknowledge I have a difficult time getting anything out in less than 850 words. Reader’s Digest features a 100-word True Story contest. I thought this would be a productive, educational exercise – and it was. 100 words is nothing for me. I … Continue reading “I Wrote a 100-Word Story” Club
You don’t understand the cliche, “Getting old is a privilege” until you witness people your age drop dead. Age floats down our body like a feather. It’s a fairy Godmother waving her wand across the body to ensure all of it is touched by aging dust. Gray hair was my first indicator I’m one step closer to mortality. These random silver strands frosted my dark … Continue reading “I Welcome Age” Club
I haven’t reached a ripe age of maturity yet. My proof? I still have yet to master the art of forgiveness. I meet people and I either love you or hate you completely, just like you would do to me. If I love you, I bring you into my life entirely. I surrender my inhibitions, lower my barriers, and invite you into my ‘modern family’ … Continue reading “I’m Not Good at Forgiveness” Club
Writing a love letter used to mean something. The effort alone in gathering the supplies: paper, a quill, fountain ink. The actual process of writing was a task of monstrous proportions; it could take a day to write a 250-word letter. Have you ever tried to write with a quill? Dip, write half a letter, dip, write the other half a letter, dip, cross your … Continue reading “Life is a Circle” Club
In America, many things can use a serious rebranding. A few notables: marriage, step parents, and my favorite, cat ladies! Exhibit one: Beth Stern. Exhibit two: Taylor Swift. Exhibit three: More hot famous ladies with their felines. I only fell in love with cats two years ago, which means I missed out for 39 years. Two years ago, my two kids and I decided we … Continue reading “I’m a Cat Lady” Club
Let me start out by saying I don’t enjoy confrontation, although one may argue, on occasions, my actions may have inadvertently caused it. I have been accused of being an instigator. Translation: I bring things up enough to bother someone else with doing something about it, because like I said, I don’t take pleasure in hostile encounters, but I do appreciate justice and answers. For … Continue reading “I’m an Instigator” Club
A library is a museum of books; a shrine to literature. It is more accessible than a museum and always free to enter. It is far less elitist the a museum: a poorly written book could exist on the shelf next to best-seller. Obviously the greatest aspect of the library: borrow books (up to 50 at a time!), enjoy them at your leisure (in the … Continue reading “I Heart the Library” Club
The Mamas & the Papas sang about it. So did Aerosmith. Dream a little dream of me. Dream on. In modern America, #LiveYourDream is on billboards, shopping bags, t-shirts, mugs, and in combinations of status updates, tweets, and Instagram memes. A blinking mantra of our time; we love to share quotes and we love for them to be inspiring, but how often do we practice … Continue reading “I Don’t Have a Dream” Club
I don’t remember the first show I saw on (or off-)Broadway which ingrained the love of theater in me but I don’t remember not LOVING it. This week, I finally saw Book of Mormon. It had been the anniversary gift my husband and I had been promising to one another for five years. It was everything I hoped it would be and more; the funnier … Continue reading “I Love Theater” Club
My teenage son and I heard a hilarious phone prank on the radio. The victim: a 45-year-old mother. Who set her up? Her 18-year-old son. The premise? The DJ calls pretending to be the son’s 45-year-old girlfriend. Throughout the fake call, the mother’s anger escalates as she keeps repeating, “My son is a teenager!” After our laugh, I push it further because I’m the inappropriate … Continue reading “My Modern Family Trumps Yours” Club
There should be a term which describes the following phenomenon: your car has been making worrisome noises intermittently, and when you get frustrated enough to bring it to the mechanic, it miraculously ceases making any suspicious sounds. You rev the car, you drive it around the block, you take it on the highway, you hit the brakes super hard, and still no noise. Is there … Continue reading “Anti-Murphy’s Law” Club
People haunt me from the past; the mysteries of what’s become of them. When my family came to America in 1979, we didn’t document our everyday life the way we do in today’s selfie generation. We broke out the cameras for special events, birthday parties, weddings, occasional trips to the zoo, and vacations. Studying through old images, I recognize a familiar group of people reappearing … Continue reading “Old Photos Play Tricks with My Memory” Club
I am not a ballerina, even though I have the perfect name for one. Girls typically start dance classes in grade school, but we were new Soviet immigrants living in the projects, and we saved the dancing for parties at Russian restaurants. At one point, somewhere between age 6 and 13, I passive-aggressively mentioned to my mother how I never got dance lessons even though … Continue reading “I’m Not a Ballerina” Club
If you had to pack up your life into two suitcases, what would you bring? I ponder this occasionally when I find myself using something my parents brought with them from the Soviet Union in 1979. Today I poured water into a stemmed glass adorned with a train decal. I inherited these six glasses from my mother because I had mentioned to her I liked … Continue reading “Engaging With Souvenirs from the Old World” Club
I’m not good at picking places to meet – for coffee, for dinner, or to exchange artwork and catch up with a friend I haven’t seen in real life for 25 years. When my husband drags us along, completing his travel-based project across the country on 2-week road trips, it falls on me to find places to eat along the way. Thank the technology wizards … Continue reading “Don’t Ask Me To Pick a Place to Meet” Club
I take the term boyfriend seriously and have only handed it out to three people, two of whom I eventually married. Other men coveted the title, but I was stingy with my endowment. My daughter understood the significance of the title boyfriend. After all, until last year, my husband had been my boyfriend for ten years, five of them with her around. Before my daughter … Continue reading “My Five Year Old Daughter Has a Boyfriend” Club
I learned customer service when I was 13 years old, working at our family’s donut shop. Marlene from the morning shift was a trustable source; a version of her existed in New York City coffee shops in the 1980s. She taught me these important rules: The customer is always right. This is technically the only rule of customer service, but I supplemented with three more … Continue reading “Bring Back Customer Service” Club
Virgin Mobile, you suck! I’ve been a customer of their no-contract wireless service for over four years, enjoying my Samsung Galaxy S2 until two weeks ago when I dropped it onto the concrete of Main Street and it shattered beyond repair. Time for an upgrade. Satisfied with my provider up until now, I ordered a new iPhone 6 through their Website. Excited to get my … Continue reading “Virgin Mobile, You Suck” Club
When I worked in the family donut shop as a teenager, one of the co-workers told me she was chemically imbalanced, which was the clinical diagnosis of being too sensitive. She suggested I consider getting myself the same diagnosis and the pills which accompanied it. I’ve battled with intense emotional reactions for as long as I can remember, and blame myself for being too sensitive. … Continue reading “I Grapple With Irrational Emotions” Club
On Valentine’s Day, my family visited my 87-year-old grandmother. My five-year-old daughter wanted to dress up. She donned a dress with a sparkly heart top and a tutu skirt. She asked me to do her hair with the curling wand (she saw me using it earlier). Then she took my brush and put on some blush and some red (!) lipgloss. I also let her … Continue reading “I Tell My Daughter She’s Beautiful” Club
The last vacation I took with my parents and sister was to Puerto Rico in July 1996. I just graduated from NYU, newly dating my later-to-be husband. My sister was madly in love with her then boyfriend and played Nothing Else Matters by Metallica on loop the whole time. My parents, still two years shy of their quarter-century divorce, met some fellow Russians vacationers and … Continue reading “I Took My Last Family Vacation For Granted” Club
The IV bag hangs from a plastic seahorse suspended on a steel pole. A life-saving poison slowly drips through the plastic tube into the thin, fragile vein of a 4-year-old girl. Her face is swollen, her hair is merely a cap of fuzz, but her smile is electric. Today her anesthesia comes in the form of laughter courtesy of Looney Lenny the Clown. He calls … Continue reading “I Carry the Weight of Other People’s Sick Children” Club
In my 41 years, I’ve only had four birthday parties. My birthday falls in the middle of August when my classmates and friends were either notoriously at camp or on family vacations, so my mother always had an excuse for skipping a kids’ birthday party. What did I know of American birthday parties anyway? We celebrated most of my birthdays with family and my parents’ … Continue reading “I Don’t Like My Birthday Parties” Club
When I first created HeartsEverywhere.com, I wanted a catchy name for a blog I could use as a writing platform. The name came obviously and easily. Deep in love, I discovered hearts everywhere, which exploded all around me alongside Twitter and Facebook. Throughout the year, I sought out reinforcing signs from the universe yearning for the reasons and explanations. I was so uncertain of myself, … Continue reading “Hearts Still Find Me” Club
Skepticism is my natural inclination, my snap-judgement dial glued to the default: doubt. You may think I’ve developed this slightly pragmatic, partially dubious character over time, but I’m quite sure I was born this way. I began speaking at nine months, and by a year, I “spoke in full sentences,” according to my mother. I must have received a shitload of applause for my precocious … Continue reading “I’m a WYSIWYG Girl” Club
They say women marry men who remind them of their fathers, but I didn’t want to. I envisioned a different partnership with my husband than the one my mother had with my father. I picked someone who behaved in the polar opposite of my dad in every way. Physically and personality-wise, these two men had nothing in common. At least not with husband number one. … Continue reading “Did I Marry Someone Like My Father” Club
I’m convinced my complete disregard for football may be connected to my early immigration. I’ve never had an interest in football nor have I ever attended a real live football game. This was a considerable waste as my high school had an undefeated football team, but I barely noticed. Despite my Soviet birth, I do not prefer soccer to football and don’t have an inherent … Continue reading “I Watch the Super Bowl for the Commercials” Club
I don’t live on the edge much. I observe expirations dates and tax deadlines. I stop at all red lights and will not text and drive. But even I have a sell-out price to tempt danger. We live in a building right off the George Washington Bridge. We love this location for its proximity to Manhattan (ten minutes to midtown) but we have begun to … Continue reading “I Pick Up Hitchhikers” Club
I live right near the George Washington Bridge, so when walking my daughter to school, we encounter three seasoned crossing guards. Today I noticed a driver performing a dangerous and illegal move, jeopardizing other cars and pedestrians. This abominable situation outraged me. I would never think to make that illegal left! I shared my indignation with crossing card # 2 on my path. She smiled, and … Continue reading “Bring Back the Citizens Arrest” Club
If I admit I’m a liar from the onset, how much will you continue to read? What if I promise you this piece of writing is absolute, 100% the truth? I do lie sometimes, but I won’t right now. Humans usually start lying around age two, and as we get older, the more complicated of a fabrication we can concoct. I won’t go into the … Continue reading “I’m a Liar” Club
My family immigrated to America when I was almost five years old and I have few memories of my life in Kiev. I’ve recollected few stories of my childhood and those have been enough to sustain me. Big chunks of time are missing in my memories. My American husband thinks my young refugee status left me somewhat traumatized, but I disagree. He has suggested a … Continue reading “I Lost My Memories” Club
The successful and stunning Ariel Winter from Modern Family received some feedback for wearing a dress to the SAG Awards, which revealed a scar from her breast-reduction surgery. She felt compelled to justify her fashion choice: “There’s a reason I didn’t cover up my scars! They are a part of me and I’m not ashamed of them at all.” Scars are life’s tattoos; autographs left … Continue reading “Scars are my Souvenirs of Life” Club
My daughter’s hair smells like honey, because that’s how little girls are born. Sugar and spice and all things nice is not an exaggeration or a poem, it’s based on scientific fact. But I didn’t always like girls; I had been a mom of a boy for 8 years before the XX made me puke for 9 months. Without a sonogram I knew she was … Continue reading “My Daughter Reminds Me Life is Awesome” Club
This morning as I sat in my car, my seat warmer keeping my ass nice and toasty, Elvis Duran is entertaining me because they’re talking about what movie represents your love life … and I think to myself is there a movie with clowns in it that aren’t scary? And it doesn’t dawn on me until they’re been off the air for two hours, that … Continue reading “I Ignore Homeless People” Club
In Russian are two words for ass, but they are modifications of one another. One is pronounced “paw-pa” and the other is pronounced “zj-awpa.” That first one is like “tush,” the second one is like “ass.” My house was a pure “zj-awpa” house, but my cousin was purely a “paw-pa” family and whenever we got together, I always used the wrong word for ass. I loved … Continue reading “I Curse – Proudly” Club
Over a cup of coffee and a donut, a person will spill their secrets. Do not underestimate the magical unravelling power of a cruller and a cup of Joe; it is the elixir of truth. In our society, donut shops connote happy imagery: syrupy goodness oozing between puffs of powdered sugar. Not for me, though. One whiff of honey glaze singes the insides of my nostrils … Continue reading “I Came of Age at a Donut Shop” Club
The other day, my 8th grader got into the car after school, chipper as always. We started the usual pleasantries: how was school, what did you eat for lunch, any tests coming up? We carry on for about 5 minutes until he says, “Someone at school tried to kill himself today.” I didn’t say anything at first because my immediate instinct was he was kidding. … Continue reading “When Suicide Hits Too Close to Home” Club
In the 80s, our “Where were you when” moment was the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster on January 28, 1986. The explosion occurred 73 seconds after liftoff, and I watched it happen on live TV along with so many other Americans. It really sucks when a source of national pride becomes a national tragedy. The accident was the result of rapid deceleration and not combustion of fuel. … Continue reading “I Watched the Challenger Blow Up” Club
For better or for worse, I’ve embraced my Eastern European gift of hairiness. In fact, my relationship and consequent confrontation with hair on varying terrains across my body has definitely earned me gold membership into this special club. It’s a love hate relationship really. I love that my healthy hair grows fast and thick, but obviously the problem is said hair does not remain on … Continue reading “I’m a Medium-Degree Hairy Woman” Club
No one chooses to enter this annihilating club, but somehow we’re all shoved in unwillingly into this abysmal group which is bursting at the seams. Cancer doesn’t discriminate; it’s just as likely to strike Steve Jobs as ordinary Steve at your job. I’ve had my chance to rage against the disease. Both my grandparents had cancer. My aunt is currently battling ovarian cancer. I have … Continue reading “My Friend Has Cancer” Club
I truly started to value the shower 13 years ago when my son was born. As a new mom, my hierarchy of responsibilities and time management had endured an earthquake and luxuries such as bathing ended up very low on the priorities list. Of course, this was completely counter-intuitive, because what I needed more than anything was 15 minutes of solitude for more than just … Continue reading “The Shower is my Temple” Club
“Sglazeet” is what the Russians call “giving the evil eye.” I totally believe in this, but it’s technically hocus pocus witchery; like ghosts. My husband tells me that it’s up to me whether I give anyone the power to jinx or cast this evil spell. Apparently, I do. If I could, I would spray a magic shield of protection around myself before I ever left … Continue reading “I’m Afraid of the Evil Eye” Club
Every mother has mommyisms. These phrases are typically derived from life experiences and hand-me-downs from their own mothers. Here are some Soviet-inspired nuggets I got from my mom: You can never be too rich or too thin. Only prostitutes wear anklets. If you have a gap between your legs, you’re a whore. If you’re a pretty secretary, then you’re a “secretutka” (a word formed by … Continue reading “I’m More Like My Mother Than I Thought” Club
Steve Harvey recently said that everyone is given a gift and to really succeed in life, you have to jump.” It was an inspirational 6-minute pep talk, but it left me thinking, “What is MY gift?” I really need to figure this out at 41 so I can jump already. My husband says I have many gifts, and unfortunately therein lies part of the problem. … Continue reading “I Have Career ADD” Club
The winter before my marriage ultimately crumbled, my husband and I went to a movie, for the first time in two years since our son was born. It was a gorgeous night and we saw Garden State at Lincoln Center and walked home. I enjoyed the movie and thoroughly loved the soundtrack; so much so that I was singing it out-loud, almost skipping in my … Continue reading “I Have an Ex-Husband” Club
Choosing Me feels selfish. It causes intense guilt that never really goes away. Mothers are supposed to be martyrs, not egotistical. But Choosing Me has always moved my life forward. While it wasn’t always the easiest choice, ultimately Choosing Me equaled choosing happiness. When I was 15 and I used sun-in in my hair because my mother didn’t let me color it, I chose me. … Continue reading “I Chose Me” Club
There’s a photo of me at 10-months-old, bundled-up, Russian style, propped up in my Seventies plaid pram. I’m being guarded by a large German Shepherd named Alfeek. He was the first dog in my life and I don’t remember him but suspect he scarred me in some traumatic way, because until the age of 12, I had a terrible fear of dogs. My 12th birthday … Continue reading “I Got Bit by a Dog” Club
HeartsEverywhere 