Category: 365 Project: Life Clubs

365 Project: Life Clubs, pop culture

“I Don’t Try to Make You Jealous with My Photos” Club

On a gorgeous summer day, I was enjoying the great fortune of our heated rooftop pool, overlooking the Manhattan skyline, just beyond the George Washington Bridge. By the end of summer, I have become a bit desensitized to this glorious view, but my guest-de-jour always gushes and breaks out the camera. (Of course, by “camera,” I mean phone.) This day was no exception. As I … Continue reading “I Don’t Try to Make You Jealous with My Photos” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, pop culture

“Instagram is My Midlife Crisis” Club

I’m a 41-year-old writer and I just joined Instagram. This confession feels akin to a modern midlife crisis, only instead of a new red Porsche, I’m posting selfies and photos of my cats. Stop me while I’m ahead. I admit I’m a bit of a late bloomer, there were only 300 MILLION others who did it before me. I am, by no way morally opposed … Continue reading “Instagram is My Midlife Crisis” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“My Father had a UFO Sighting” Club

My father has always attested that he doesn’t believe in God, but believes in aliens. He believes it was the aliens who were responsible for the creation of the earth, rather than the commonly-held principles of God in 7 Days, or you know, the Big Bang theory. He also believes that the entire human species, in itself, is an alien experiment gone wrong. Humans are … Continue reading “My Father had a UFO Sighting” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Motherhood, motherhood

“I Stopped Cleaning Toilets” Club

AKA Pubescent Problems on the Potty I spent 15 years in the corporate world in various forms of advertising playing with fancy office stuff. But none of that matters; that’s as ancient history as the 6th grade dance as far as my kids are concerned. I’ve been working from home since my daughter was born five years ago. Last year in preschool, she was asked … Continue reading “I Stopped Cleaning Toilets” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, LIFE CLUBS: Mental Health

“I Just Learned How to Breathe” Club

I just learned how to breathe. Isn’t that ridiculous? Fellow members should be newborns only, but alas there are many of us who apparently don’t know this primal how-to. Learning to breathe has been on my long list of things to do, right between “order cat food” and “finish that pregnancy novel” (my daughter is 5 years old). I’ve been told it will “CHANGE MY … Continue reading “I Just Learned How to Breathe” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs

“I Don’t Believe in the Lottery” Club

While the rest of our country is standing in line for Powerball tickets, I just laugh and pat my pocket, one dollar richer than you. I’ve just never believed in the lottery. My husband, who would prefer to spend his dollar on a sticker, doesn’t care enough to disagree with me, but tries to get me to elaborate on my conspiracy theories – but I … Continue reading “I Don’t Believe in the Lottery” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, life, LIFE CLUBS: Mental Health

“I Get Panic Attacks” Club

Aka “I Started a Writing Project to Quell My Anxiety and Now I’m More Stressed than Ever” Club There’s an entire to-do list brainstorm session before I even open my eyes — and suddenly I think, “Do I feel nauseous?” I’m feeling something rising up through my core – and it’s making me feel uncomfortable, but am I actually nauseous? Were you meaning to kick … Continue reading “I Get Panic Attacks” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“Lost in Translation” Club

One of my favorite parts from the 1985 classic, Rocky IV, is when Drago, in the finest Russian accent a quintessential Swede can muster, says, “If he dies, he dies.” Essential to this scene is the lip raise; like an invisible fish hook caught on his upper lip and pulled it up toward the corner. My sister and I have spent thirty years imitating this … Continue reading “Lost in Translation” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“I Called Russia in 1985” Club

I was 11 years old and I was the one in my family responsible for calling Russia. In 1985 we had just moved to Staten Island; we were in our ivory-wallpapered living room, on the taupe leather couches. The house was immaculate with its modern window treatments and cream-colored carpet. It hadn’t yet been soiled by the mastiff’s muddy footprints or by the stench of … Continue reading “I Called Russia in 1985” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, life, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“My Sister was a Gift to Me” Club

My sister was always presented as a gift that was created just for me – and not because I needed a bone marrow transplant or anything. I was just a typical six-year-old, newly immigrated to Queens from Russia, and I was lonely. I was also supposedly incredibly cerebral and persuasive (go figure), because while other girls convinced their parents to buy them a Barbie Dream … Continue reading “My Sister was a Gift to Me” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“My Sister Got a Hole in Her Head on My Watch” Club

I was a mature 10-year-old and my younger sister, Reena was only three when we were  enjoying all the glories of new immigrant life in the Housing Projects of Queens. Aside from the male jogger who hung upside down, dangling his junk in front of us, everything from this period blends together like a hazy blur. There are few memories that stand out, but the … Continue reading “My Sister Got a Hole in Her Head on My Watch” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, New York, russian

“I Lived in the Projects and Didn’t Know it” Club

“Oh I didn’t realize you grew up in the projects!” my husband says the first time I bring him to visit my grandmother, who has lived in this same housing complex for her 40 years in this country. Apparently “Cooperative Housing” is fancy for projects, but I have always thought it was a perfectly normal place to have my rudimentary years in this country. The … Continue reading “I Lived in the Projects and Didn’t Know it” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“Apparently I Almost Died as an Infant” Club

I don’t remember almost dying as an infant, but apparently, I did. My mother recounts the story of my Soviet birth ripe with exaggerated old-world details. She describes laboring in a room with nine other women, all of whom took turns pushing their babies out, while an orderly with a thick mustache mopped the floor with dirty water. She witnessed one woman give birth to … Continue reading “Apparently I Almost Died as an Infant” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“I Have a Weird Name” Club

Nowadays unusual names are all the rage, but in 1986 Staten Island, when your parents make you transfer mid-year to your new junior high school, having missed out on vital teenage lessons (namely how to put on eyeliner and lipstick), it was way cooler to be Lisa or Maria or Jill. As lovely girls named Michelle and Vicky, took me around from class to class, … Continue reading “I Have a Weird Name” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, family, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“Growing Up, I Never Had Play Dates” Club

The only play dates I’ve ever been on are the ones with my own children. In 2016 America (and the Internet), parental and educator rhetoric professes the vast academic and developmental benefits of play dates for our children. They all agree good social skills are essential to helping your child lead a happier, healthier life – but these skills need lots of practice and coaching. … Continue reading “Growing Up, I Never Had Play Dates” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, LIFE CLUBS: Immigrant Stories, russian

“I Have a Coin with a Dictator on it Rather than a Birth Certificate” Club

“Where are you from?” Such a basic question, and yet I stutter and exhale a deep sigh of annoyance. I clarify, “You mean where I do live now or where was I born?” To which most will reply, “I mean, what’s your nationality?” The easy answer would be, “I live in New York, but I was born in Russia.” That’s how my father would answer … Continue reading “I Have a Coin with a Dictator on it Rather than a Birth Certificate” Club

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365 Project: Life Clubs, LIFE CLUBS: Writing

365 Day Writing Project

Happy New Year! WHY THE 365 PROJECT? I’ve written my whole life, if not on paper, certainly I’ve maintained a ticker-tape life dialog transcription in my head for the better part of 35 years. I’m that girl – the one that can recite things you’ve told me 20 years ago and throw it back at you. I hold onto everything – the photographer who told … Continue reading 365 Day Writing Project

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