“I Chose Me” Club
Choosing Me feels selfish. It causes intense guilt that never really goes away. Mothers are supposed to be martyrs, not egotistical. But Choosing Me has always moved my life forward. While it wasn’t always the easiest choice, ultimately Choosing Me equaled choosing happiness. When I was 15 and I used sun-in in my hair because my mother didn’t let me color it, I chose me. … Continue reading “I Chose Me” Club
“I Got Bit by a Dog” Club
There’s a photo of me at 10-months-old, bundled-up, Russian style, propped up in my Seventies plaid pram. I’m being guarded by a large German Shepherd named Alfeek. He was the first dog in my life and I don’t remember him but suspect he scarred me in some traumatic way, because until the age of 12, I had a terrible fear of dogs. My 12th birthday … Continue reading “I Got Bit by a Dog” Club
“I Don’t Try to Make You Jealous with My Photos” Club
On a gorgeous summer day, I was enjoying the great fortune of our heated rooftop pool, overlooking the Manhattan skyline, just beyond the George Washington Bridge. By the end of summer, I have become a bit desensitized to this glorious view, but my guest-de-jour always gushes and breaks out the camera. (Of course, by “camera,” I mean phone.) This day was no exception. As I … Continue reading “I Don’t Try to Make You Jealous with My Photos” Club
“Instagram is My Midlife Crisis” Club
I’m a 41-year-old writer and I just joined Instagram. This confession feels akin to a modern midlife crisis, only instead of a new red Porsche, I’m posting selfies and photos of my cats. Stop me while I’m ahead. I admit I’m a bit of a late bloomer, there were only 300 MILLION others who did it before me. I am, by no way morally opposed … Continue reading “Instagram is My Midlife Crisis” Club
“My Father had a UFO Sighting” Club
My father has always attested that he doesn’t believe in God, but believes in aliens. He believes it was the aliens who were responsible for the creation of the earth, rather than the commonly-held principles of God in 7 Days, or you know, the Big Bang theory. He also believes that the entire human species, in itself, is an alien experiment gone wrong. Humans are … Continue reading “My Father had a UFO Sighting” Club
“I Stopped Cleaning Toilets” Club
AKA Pubescent Problems on the Potty I spent 15 years in the corporate world in various forms of advertising playing with fancy office stuff. But none of that matters; that’s as ancient history as the 6th grade dance as far as my kids are concerned. I’ve been working from home since my daughter was born five years ago. Last year in preschool, she was asked … Continue reading “I Stopped Cleaning Toilets” Club
“I Just Learned How to Breathe” Club
I just learned how to breathe. Isn’t that ridiculous? Fellow members should be newborns only, but alas there are many of us who apparently don’t know this primal how-to. Learning to breathe has been on my long list of things to do, right between “order cat food” and “finish that pregnancy novel” (my daughter is 5 years old). I’ve been told it will “CHANGE MY … Continue reading “I Just Learned How to Breathe” Club
“I Don’t Believe in the Lottery” Club
While the rest of our country is standing in line for Powerball tickets, I just laugh and pat my pocket, one dollar richer than you. I’ve just never believed in the lottery. My husband, who would prefer to spend his dollar on a sticker, doesn’t care enough to disagree with me, but tries to get me to elaborate on my conspiracy theories – but I … Continue reading “I Don’t Believe in the Lottery” Club
“I Get Panic Attacks” Club
Aka “I Started a Writing Project to Quell My Anxiety and Now I’m More Stressed than Ever” Club There’s an entire to-do list brainstorm session before I even open my eyes — and suddenly I think, “Do I feel nauseous?” I’m feeling something rising up through my core – and it’s making me feel uncomfortable, but am I actually nauseous? Were you meaning to kick … Continue reading “I Get Panic Attacks” Club
“Lost in Translation” Club
One of my favorite parts from the 1985 classic, Rocky IV, is when Drago, in the finest Russian accent a quintessential Swede can muster, says, “If he dies, he dies.” Essential to this scene is the lip raise; like an invisible fish hook caught on his upper lip and pulled it up toward the corner. My sister and I have spent thirty years imitating this … Continue reading “Lost in Translation” Club
“I Called Russia in 1985” Club
I was 11 years old and I was the one in my family responsible for calling Russia. In 1985 we had just moved to Staten Island; we were in our ivory-wallpapered living room, on the taupe leather couches. The house was immaculate with its modern window treatments and cream-colored carpet. It hadn’t yet been soiled by the mastiff’s muddy footprints or by the stench of … Continue reading “I Called Russia in 1985” Club
“My Sister was a Gift to Me” Club
My sister was always presented as a gift that was created just for me – and not because I needed a bone marrow transplant or anything. I was just a typical six-year-old, newly immigrated to Queens from Russia, and I was lonely. I was also supposedly incredibly cerebral and persuasive (go figure), because while other girls convinced their parents to buy them a Barbie Dream … Continue reading “My Sister was a Gift to Me” Club
“My Sister Got a Hole in Her Head on My Watch” Club
I was a mature 10-year-old and my younger sister, Reena was only three when we were enjoying all the glories of new immigrant life in the Housing Projects of Queens. Aside from the male jogger who hung upside down, dangling his junk in front of us, everything from this period blends together like a hazy blur. There are few memories that stand out, but the … Continue reading “My Sister Got a Hole in Her Head on My Watch” Club
“I Lived in the Projects and Didn’t Know it” Club
“Oh I didn’t realize you grew up in the projects!” my husband says the first time I bring him to visit my grandmother, who has lived in this same housing complex for her 40 years in this country. Apparently “Cooperative Housing” is fancy for projects, but I have always thought it was a perfectly normal place to have my rudimentary years in this country. The … Continue reading “I Lived in the Projects and Didn’t Know it” Club
“Apparently I Almost Died as an Infant” Club
I don’t remember almost dying as an infant, but apparently, I did. My mother recounts the story of my Soviet birth ripe with exaggerated old-world details. She describes laboring in a room with nine other women, all of whom took turns pushing their babies out, while an orderly with a thick mustache mopped the floor with dirty water. She witnessed one woman give birth to … Continue reading “Apparently I Almost Died as an Infant” Club
“I Have a Weird Name” Club
Nowadays unusual names are all the rage, but in 1986 Staten Island, when your parents make you transfer mid-year to your new junior high school, having missed out on vital teenage lessons (namely how to put on eyeliner and lipstick), it was way cooler to be Lisa or Maria or Jill. As lovely girls named Michelle and Vicky, took me around from class to class, … Continue reading “I Have a Weird Name” Club
“Growing Up, I Never Had Play Dates” Club
The only play dates I’ve ever been on are the ones with my own children. In 2016 America (and the Internet), parental and educator rhetoric professes the vast academic and developmental benefits of play dates for our children. They all agree good social skills are essential to helping your child lead a happier, healthier life – but these skills need lots of practice and coaching. … Continue reading “Growing Up, I Never Had Play Dates” Club
“I Have a Coin with a Dictator on it Rather than a Birth Certificate” Club
“Where are you from?” Such a basic question, and yet I stutter and exhale a deep sigh of annoyance. I clarify, “You mean where I do live now or where was I born?” To which most will reply, “I mean, what’s your nationality?” The easy answer would be, “I live in New York, but I was born in Russia.” That’s how my father would answer … Continue reading “I Have a Coin with a Dictator on it Rather than a Birth Certificate” Club
365 Day Writing Project
Happy New Year! WHY THE 365 PROJECT? I’ve written my whole life, if not on paper, certainly I’ve maintained a ticker-tape life dialog transcription in my head for the better part of 35 years. I’m that girl – the one that can recite things you’ve told me 20 years ago and throw it back at you. I hold onto everything – the photographer who told … Continue reading 365 Day Writing Project
This is Us is for All of Us
When thirtysomething was on TV in 1987, I was 13 years old and called it one of my favorite shows. Maybe a bit age inappropriate; perhaps I should have stuck with the more candy-coated Love Boat, for its false fairytale, “wrap it up with a bow” endings or Dynasty for its hyper unrealistic familial depictions. (Although years later my father married someone 30 years his … Continue reading This is Us is for All of Us
I Doodle Hearts
When I started this blog, I had the intention of posting photos of hearts I discovered in my path and creating a forum for strangers around the world to share their heart discoveries with me. However, the blog has long ago become a words-dominated forum. I, on the other hand, continue to find hearts – and they find me. Last year, even in the midst … Continue reading I Doodle Hearts
5 Problems Only People with Multiple Cats Will Understand
You’ll never know who had diarrhea in the litter box. You never know who shat out a red string. Or a gold thread. Or a rubber band (or two). You don’t know who left the surprise pile of puke in the kitchen. Or the hallway. Or in the precise place you step when you get out of bed in the morning You’re not sure who … Continue reading 5 Problems Only People with Multiple Cats Will Understand
My Lesson from the Newtown Tragedy
At a certain point in my early 30s – shortly after I had gotten divorced and came out from the self-absorbed haze of “why me” – I had a turning point when instead of saying “Why me?” I started saying, “what is the lesson here?” I witnessed a taxi accident a few years ago, walking down the streets of Third Avenue in New York. With … Continue reading My Lesson from the Newtown Tragedy
A Decade of Motherhood
My son turns 10 years old today, and while he celebrates turning double digits, the celebration is essentially all mine. Growing up, on my birthday, all my parents’ friends used to call and “Congratulate” them on my birthday. I thought it was a stupid Russian thing; “It’s MY birthday – they get their own day.” But after I made it through the first year of … Continue reading A Decade of Motherhood
A One Year Hiatus … But Who Even Missed Me? Maybe Just Me …
I haven’t blogged in over a year. I just got annoyed at the whole internet, at social networking, at sharing my life with anyone. I just got disinterested. I wanted my life to myself; a private celebrity if only in my own mind, wearing a baseball hat and sunglasses and avoiding the media. I hated my blog; every single thing about it. I was in … Continue reading A One Year Hiatus … But Who Even Missed Me? Maybe Just Me …
I’m in a [I don’t work a corporate job] Style Slump
Will someone please nominate me for What Not to Wear? I have been in a major style rut for the last 18 months. When I first lost my job, with it also went the obligation to “dress up.” (But truthfully I wasn’t so upset about that.) Then I got pregnant – and for the nine months I spent hovering over or around a toilet, I … Continue reading I’m in a [I don’t work a corporate job] Style Slump
Do You Baby Book?
After my cousin had twins 4 months to the day after I had my baby girl, we were comparing gifts. Kind of like, “How many baby blankets? What’s the most hideous outfit?” Finally I ask, “How many baby books did you get?” She says, “What do you mean “baby books?” You mean How to Expect: The First Years?” No, I clarify, “Like a book for … Continue reading Do You Baby Book?
Dying My Hair
Last week I decided it was finally time to color my hair. It had been months that the tufts of gray on my temples were bothering me. With the baby, I was always putting my hair up in a ponytail and the clown-like, white bunches weren’t funny anymore (no, they never really were). Most people said they didn’t notice the gray – until I pointed … Continue reading Dying My Hair
28 Days of Writing Followed By a Week of Nothing
It’s been a full week since I’ve completed the NaBloPoMo challenge. I did it for the whole 28 days, just like I did two years ago. There were things I liked about the challenge – and obviously things that annoyed me. Most of what annoyed me was that I found myself sitting at the laptop around 9:30pm every evening saying, “Shit, I have to blog” … Continue reading 28 Days of Writing Followed By a Week of Nothing
Oscars 2011: My Take
The Oscars tried to market to a younger audience – and they failed. The Academy Awards, as an institution, is not regarded as movie judges for the younger demographic. Hearing a movie is an Oscar-winner doesn’t draw them to the theatres; they are going to see the Twilight movies and the Harry Potter movies – and it doesn’t matter if any of them ever see … Continue reading Oscars 2011: My Take
Anniversary Night Recap
It was the perfect night – as we knew it would be. The evening was exactly what this couple needed to celebrate their 6-year-anniversary. After careful consideration, we decided on an evening that was typical for us. We went to our usual sushi place in Union Square – and instead of going to see King’s Speech, even though I knew it would win the Oscar, … Continue reading Anniversary Night Recap
Six Years Ago Today
Even though we sometimes sneer at other people’s Facebook status when they sound like romantic, corny saps – we both posted something in today’s status. I think it says it all – even if we did say it to each other in witness of hundreds of people, most of whom only exist as “friends” on the virtual ‘book. This holiday, as special as it is, … Continue reading Six Years Ago Today
Six Years Ago Tomorrow
Tomorrow will be six years since the day I met my love. We’ve spoken about it for the last few weeks – “can you believe it’s six years since the day that changed our lives forever?” We wanted to go to a nice dinner; my sister is babysitting – but none of the restaurants that made the “best of” lists seemed to get either of … Continue reading Six Years Ago Tomorrow
Love is Life
Sometimes I sit down to write when I have a few minutes in between the running here or there. Many times I think I’m going to have enough time to write something comprehensive, but often times I have a paragraph or two written in a Word document – and keep it open for days. More times than not, I forget where I was going with … Continue reading Love is Life
Babies React to the Optimum Triple Play Commercials
We’ve recently noticed that our 8-month-old has a fascination with the Optimum Online Triple Play TV commercial. It comes on often during the Today show. They change the commercial every so often – so there have been many renditions – but the jingle stays the same. It’s very annoying, yet catchy – it may even make jingle history. The marketing strategy seems to be over-saturation … Continue reading Babies React to the Optimum Triple Play Commercials
The Baby Girl and Her Barrettes
I never imagined what it would be like to have a little girl. When I was pregnant the first time 9 years ago I knew from the minute I got pregnant it was a boy – not because we had a sonogram to tell us – and not because my belly looked like a boy – but because I just knew that I would be … Continue reading The Baby Girl and Her Barrettes
When Will the Facebook Twins Row, Row, Row Away?
Last week I caught the encore presentation of the Piers Morgan interview with Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, the infamous Facebook twins. When I first started listening to the brothers, they actually seemed honest and sincere. They were selling their story and I was buying it. I knew they were a pair of over-privileged chaps whose intellectual property truly was stolen and as an “idea woman” … Continue reading When Will the Facebook Twins Row, Row, Row Away?
I Heart Cheburashka
It took me years to be proud of being Russian. (Growing up in American during the Cold War will do that to a girl.) I came to this country over 30 years ago when I was just shy of 5 years old. I remember very little from the “old country,” but few things still give me a great sense of nostalgia. As I’ve grown older … Continue reading I Heart Cheburashka
Condom Joke
We met some nice Russian folks today at a cousin’s birthday party (living the Year of the Family) and one of them told me a funny joke. (I modified it slightly.) Here goes: A man walks into a drug store with his adolescent son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?” The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those … Continue reading Condom Joke
Central Park, Carnegie Deli, Times Square
On this first spring-like day in 2011, we meandered through my favorite place in NYC: Central Park. It was 67 degrees and all the leftover blizzard snow created muddy pathways, but it was gorgeous. Couples lingered on benches eating lunch; runners circled the reservoir, and we strolled our 8-month-old under the still-bare trees. After a few hours, we made our way downtown and decided to … Continue reading Central Park, Carnegie Deli, Times Square
The Dentist: Part 2
The preview of spring today and tomorrow is well appreciated; sunshine is much needed since I don’t believe in taking Vitamin D supplements. Today I didn’t get to enjoy it as much as I would have liked – since I had Part Two of the dentist. I’ve decided that I really dislike the receptionist at the dentist’s office – enough so that I may never … Continue reading The Dentist: Part 2
The Broken Tooth
I can’t believe I’ve become a dentist hater. I used to love my childhood dentist, Ira. (We were on a first name basis.) He filled my first cavities in America – all with the help of the snoopy nose, a.k.a. gas. Of course I liked the dentist – he got me high from the time I was 8 years old. He would engage me in … Continue reading The Broken Tooth
Today Was One of Those Days
Today was one of those days when I was extra tired. My feet felt heavier, my arms hung lower and my eyelids downright drooped. Luckily the sunshine made the driving to and from Riverdale easier. We went to bed extraordinarily late last night. We pretended that we didn’t have a baby that will wake us at 6:00am and we pretended that I wouldn’t have to … Continue reading Today Was One of Those Days
For all the Valentine’s Day Haters
Many of people hate Valentine’s Day – and I’m sure there are plenty of reasons. Here are some you may have heard: “It’s a Hallmark-created holiday to fuel the economy.” “I don’t need a holiday to tell my honey how much I love him. I love him every day.” “It’s a holiday to make us single people feel bad.” “It’s too much pressure and it … Continue reading For all the Valentine’s Day Haters
Heart Rocks
In August 2008 on our way home from our first trip to Maine, we stopped in Newport, Rhode Island. While stopping at a beach along the Cliff Walk, we ran into a woman looking for heart-shaped rocks along the predominantly-pebbled beach. It seemed like the perfect idea for someone who authors a blog called Hearts Everywhere. Thus the hobby was born. I’ve been collecting them … Continue reading Heart Rocks
Making Challah
French toast is one of my specialties, so when my sister said she was coming for brunch on Saturday, it was a no-brainer. I make my French Toast ONLY out of challah bread. Usually, though, I buy the bread. This time, when I realized that the Fresh Direct challah rolls were going to cost me $10 worth of bread, I thought, can’t I just make … Continue reading Making Challah
Cleaning Day – Ode to Toy Story 2
Today was cleaning day. In its honor, I am posting one of my favorite animated movie clips – from Toy Story 2. Where Woody gets restored to perfect. Now who wouldn’t want a magic man like this one knocking on your door to bring everything back to new? Continue reading Cleaning Day – Ode to Toy Story 2
Having Faith in Life
I went backwards in life with my money making. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I live very much hand-to-mouth, relying on the man in my life for much financial support. This was not so in my 20’s, when I was making a steady paycheck and spending whatever I wanted on almost anything I wanted (within reason, of course). I don’t buy for myself now … Continue reading Having Faith in Life
Making Friends on the Subway
From Hearts Everywhere I was on my way home from a doctor’s appointment, headed Downtown on the express green train. I was seatless, clenching to the disgusting oily pole, my purple nails blatantly at the eye level of the two women squished in the bench below me. I tried to focus on my book, but the conversation of the two women was too loud. “Can … Continue reading Making Friends on the Subway
Celebrating 8 Months with Pizza (Is There a Better Way?)
Mackenzie turned 8 months old today and to celebrate, she got up an hour early – but compensated with a late nap. After returning from my drive to pick up Jake at school in Riverdale I found the girl still sleeping at 5pm. Strange for someone who goes to bed around 6:30pm. I was excited at the prospect at dinner out with the whole family. … Continue reading Celebrating 8 Months with Pizza (Is There a Better Way?)
HeartsEverywhere 