“What did it feel like when she died?” Abigail Bresner’s character asks the judge character in the movie, My Sister’s Keeper. The judge, played by Joan Cusack starts to cry and I hit pause on the movie to wipe the tears out of my eyes. I am holding my 7-week-old baby girl and the thought of losing her when she was just 12 years old … Continue reading My Sister’s Keeper
The other day I got a piece of mail that had 3 addresses on it for me; two of which were printed on the yellow post office new address stickers. I was dually impressed – both with the post office for keeping up with the mail, and with myself for managing 3 addresses in one year. It led me to reflect on the year during … Continue reading 3 Addresses and the Year That Was
Throughout life, we’re behaviorally trained to rely on somebody else to tell us that we’re doing a good job. We perpetually seek validation (and reward?) for our actions. First our parents chant “good job” as we learn life’s basics. Then throughout our childhood and our educational careers, we count on teachers, tests and grades to present us with the grand check mark that we are … Continue reading Month One: Check
I made it through the first 3 weeks without breaking baby # 2. This second rendition of Mommyhood is entirely different from the first installment, when I was given the title 8 years ago. Gone are the moments (OK, fewer are the moments) when you check on your perfectly angelic sleeping newborn just to see if she’s alive. Gone are the sleepless moments while she … Continue reading 3 Weeks of Mommyhood-squared
Every baby comes with its own birth story, and the journey it took to bring it to life. Mackenzie Riley came into this world on a Tuesday morning via emergency cesarean section after almost 24 hours of trying to be induced. She is perfect. For every hardship pregnancy gave me for 41 weeks, she is taking it away by the minute. It only took me … Continue reading Motherhood: Take 2
Sometimes I wonder why some people were given the instinctual desire to question authority, culture, rules, society, defaults, the ‘norm’ – and other people were just given the peace to live with complacency of assumed truths. I struggle accepting things like God and regulations without scientific proof or logical explanation. Maybe it’s the journalist in me, or the skeptic or just the Russian genetics. People … Continue reading Finding the Courage to Make Your Dreams Come True
I’m not a big follower of Kabbalah, but appreciate the wisdom I get from my Daily Kabbalah Tune-ups (and yes I wear a red bracelet). Here is one I got recently that really resonated with one of my ongoing preachy mantras: be accountable for your actions! At the end of the day, the key to happiness is taking ultimate responsibility for your reactions to all … Continue reading Key to Happiness: Daily Kabbalah
> The last thing you’re feeling when you’re 35 weeks pregnant is sexy or cool. However, my good friend David, comic writer extraordinaire, made me feel a little better about myself late last year when he named a character after me in his latest Marvel comic, HULK: WINTER GUARD. In this story, Crimson Dynamo, aka the Russian Iron Man, unveiled his mask to reveal that … Continue reading Me as the Crimson Dynamo
“I worry if I will have enough love in my heart for two,” a friend of mine recently admitted when I asked her if she ever wanted a second child. For those who have had the luxury of more than one child, it must seem like a ridiculous statement – but for those that have been the mommy of one (for 8 + years), it … Continue reading My Second Child
This is so cool and so 2010. I have been the go-to Google Gal for a long time so clearly Google Search Stories excited me. I wasted no time … and this is far from the last search story by yours truly. Check out my 30-second creation about the year that was: I’ve always had plenty to talk and write about when it comes to … Continue reading Google Search Stories: Life Entertains
In the grand scheme of life, and with all the hormones that course through my veins, it won’t surprise me if, in retrospect, my 40-weeks of incubator duty won’t seem as awful as they did while I was living them. But my first 24 weeks of pregnancy were a hard, lonely and guilty stretch of life. My kryptonite is nausea … and for almost 6 … Continue reading Reflections on 32 Weeks
I started this blog after I lost my advertising job in 2008. The pent-up writer in me found an expression for her pseudo-voice and a place to foster my insanity. By the end of the year, I got a rebound job that quickly spiraled out of control, just like any rebound relationship would. I thought when I got fired the second time, I would dive … Continue reading Back to the Blog
From http://www.hammermania.com I haven’t posted anything in over 5 months. I’ve even written posts about not posting and haven’t posted them. I have plenty written – all in back posts but never posted. Here’s why. Step 1: I got knocked up. Step 2: I had over 6 months of gruesome, disgusting, debilitating nausea that lasted most of the day and had me barfing every day. … Continue reading Me – Preggers McGreggers
Recently I went on a computer scavenger hunt to find some old writing pieces. On my way to the X-Marks the Spot, I found some random G-isms that I wrote here and there along the way. Most fall under the category of life and emotions. Here I spew: ON ANGER: Don’t give in to the anger. Some pattern of behavior causes you to be mad … Continue reading Randomisms…On Anger, Writing, Divorce, Fear …
August birthdays are complicated. In fact, to date I’ve had no more than 3 birthday parties (mostly because no one was ever around). When I was a kid – like many of my 80s-raised cronies – there was none of the crazy birthday parties New York City parents are famous for throwing. Ironically, I was OK with it (yes I still very much a Leo). … Continue reading Birthday Wishes Welcome – But Save the Whistle
So I’ve been busy the last two months. I’ve moved – apartment, job, neighborhood … life rearranged, really. I have been the living epitome of TRANSITION and the last two months, instead of fostering my anxiety, stress, and worry into words on my blog … I didn’t. So the blog has been lonely and my soul has been carrying a load heavier than it needed. … Continue reading I’ve Been Busy … But I’m Back
It wasn’t until my third summer in my apartment that I really started enjoying the luxury of a New York City balcony. By balcony I mean fire escape. But it’s a special fire escape – it has a concrete base so no tightrope maneuver necessary to stand outside my window. Nonetheless, perched above 97th street on my very own outdoor space, I get high as … Continue reading Happiness is Finding Your Place…
Mississippi the Turtle has lived at my house for the last 3 years. My boyfriend was going away on a trip, dropped her off and decided this would be a better home for her. So now she goes on walk-abouts in my Manhattan flat. We forget about her for a week or so sometimes and out she’ll come, dragging a bunch of dust from under … Continue reading Ode to Mississippi, the Step Turtle
To HER on her WEDDING DAY: There’s no such thing as a perfect person – only a person that’s perfect for you. Trust yourself to know that you found him – and hold onto that trust in yourself and in each other. Remember this day and how you feel about each other. Life will be rocky and there will be days when your mind will … Continue reading Wedding Wishes
I made this list when I first created a MySpace page. I’ve since deleted the page, but a hunt through old files revealed this list. It’s random and incomplete (life fills it in …) but without further ado … here’s what I preach: Life Advices by Me: • Walk carefully in high heels.• John Lennon said it best – life is what happens when you’re … Continue reading Life Advices
My boyfriend got me (and my sister) into face painting. Previously we did them with stamp templates, but we’re branching out … big time. On a recent afternoon, we shopped for Snazaroo paints and brushes and even got crazy containers to store it all at the Container Store. Then we came home to practice by copying a book … but instead I used acrylic paints … Continue reading Face Painting … on My Leg
Advertising on pizza boxes is not very new … but this one made me smile. Pizza = Happy. It’s that easy…(unless you’re lactose intolerant). Continue reading Happiness in a Pizza Box
> When I write my first official blog posting, I believe that it will focus on a rant spawned by a business women’s leadership luncheon I attended last week. My post-lunch assignment was to “figure out your true calling in life.” Apparently therein lies the ultimate secret to becoming the ultimate woman leader. If I just follow my calling … Well … if I only … Continue reading When I write my first official blog
I didn’t get hooked on the Sopranos until Season 3; same with Sex and the City. I didn’t catch onto Arrested Development until after all 3 seasons were old on DVD. But … for Susan Boyle, I am just under a month late. Susan Boyle is not driven by money or fame. She is driven by the bubbling cauldron of passion inside her gut. She … Continue reading Talent Fuels Dreams
We wanted a serene, deserted, untouristy, unpopulated, local paradise. We wanted silky golden sand, azure waters and peace. Buck-fifty beers were preferred, but not required. We wanted a thousands part nature to one part people. We found the whole enchilada in Tulum, Mexico. Two hours south of Cancun exists this perfect beach town – it’s like a photo shoot at every angle; nature provides the … Continue reading I Heart Tulum
I always thought I was a verbal mind. But the SATs proved me wrong 20 years ago; I scored 100 points higher in math. WHAT? HOW? I had stopped math after the required geometry. Nonetheless – I have always enjoyed number-related puzzles rather than verbal ones like crossword puzzles. With numbers I always thought I had the power to figure it out eventually; a proven … Continue reading Addicted to KenKen
Last night was awesome – I celebrated my first night of unemployment. (Again.) The bf and I went to this awesome art opening of Michael Albert at the Gershwin Hotel. His art is like pop music – engaging, fun and approachable. It’s colorful and clever and he just published his first book. He’s also been doing a tremendous amount of education outreach, inspiring and teaching … Continue reading Unemployment: Day One
So it looks like I did it again. I was 33 when I got fired for the first time; 34 when I got fired for the second time. Apparently life is giving me a second chance; Take two on creating the life I’m meant to live. A life of happiness. Happiness is like a drug; once you get a taste of it – you want … Continue reading Creating the Life I Want: Take Two
“Where did you meet?” When you’re in a relationship for a long time, you hear this question a lot. When this relationship is also seemingly successful, inquiring minds are often pulling for the ‘once upon a time’ of your story. My boyfriend and I have been together over 4 years. We recite the story similarly when we’re apart, but when we’re together, he always tags … Continue reading Where Did You Meet?
Sunday afternoon was a quintessential spring day in New York City. 61 degrees and the sky was as blue as the Caribbean I’m dreaming about (and will feel on my feet in 3 days). But somehow my 7-year-old son and I couldn’t motivate out of our pajamas. By 3:00pm the guilt was killing me. I had to take this boy outside. Heck, I had to … Continue reading A Modern Urban Sunday Afternoon
I’m much over-due for a vacation. Traveling is core to my existence. I have an extreme case of wanderlust and it’s been itching for a long time. A new job doesn’t help. Wednesday I’m flying here: And here’s what the forecast looks like: Continue reading I’m Beach-Bound
Mistake number one was telling anyone at my new job about my blog. Good decision number one was making a rule that no one at my new job becomes my Facebook friend. Social networking policies … we all have to create them for ourselves. Rules to live by in our fake little online worlds. I wrote something that I thought came out awesome, but it’s … Continue reading My New Job: Writing Dangerously
I feel like I’m regressing. This past weekend I spent playing Dance Dance Revolution for Wii. Last year’s kick was Guitar Hero. I spend unforgivable hours on social networking sites fake interacting, creating a micro-spec on a microcosm that is something much bigger than I will probably ever understand. But I’m there. Playing with the others. Sometimes I think I’d list the same hobbies du … Continue reading Game On!
Four years ago today I met you and knew I would always know you. Three years ago, the world tasted differently. We were just beginning to merge the flavors of our bountiful meal. My love wrote me this poem on one of those mornings where he used to sneak out before Jake got up. We had just celebrated our one year anniversary. Today feels like … Continue reading Kiss Goodbye
Dear Leo, Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, February 24: Keep your wallet tucked safely away today — you need to avoid spending as much as you can, especially on joint purchases. Put them of for a while or say no, because you’ve got to hang on to your money. Now … horoscopes like this one are exactly the reason that things like this happen … Continue reading Hanging Onto My Money
I put things off – sometimes important things – like tax bills. I think it all boils down to my commitment phobia. And procrastination. Sometimes I let all the little dreadful things (like paying the tax bill, dealing with the creditors, making doctor’s appointments, filling out financial aid forms…sense a trend?) build up and create a stack I can’t tackle. Life builds up because we … Continue reading I Take on The Tax Bill and "The List"
A new year, a new President, a new job – and yet I call this the year of the circle. I’m working for the same company I worked for 8 years ago, walking home to an apartment back on the same block I lived at then. Only this time, it’s my boyfriend’s apartment and not the one my husband and I shared. 8 years ago … Continue reading Simplify: Find the Light
My son, my artist boyfriend and me – the girl with a doodling compulsion made some art on Monday would be Sunday. Continue reading We Painted
I never called myself a writer. I never thought I was good enough – clearly limiting myself only by my own battle with perfectionism. I pursued 12-year career in advertising where writing was the PS – rather not the body – of my life. Finally, they fired me and I found myself in a moment of mental liberation. I was forced into a crossroads of … Continue reading I Am A Writer.
My new work neighborhood has lots of lights and ‘eye candy.’ Here are some images from my lunchtime walk about… Continue reading Photojournalistic Lunchtime Sprawls: Execution
Creative minds often struggle in a corporate 9-5 set up. Unless these folks [READ: ME] have a creative outlet, insanity, resentment, frustration and all that other good stuff may set in. In my new job I am trying to proactively avoid any sort of such breakdown. So I had an idea: I always take my lunchtime walks – get air, stretch the legs, purge myself … Continue reading Photojournalistic Lunchtime Sprawls: The Idea
My six-year-old and I get in our daily morning debates before school. This rainy Monday in late Fall was no exception. I tell him to wear the raincoat. “Zipper it,” I say. “I don’t want your t-shirt to get wet.” “I can’t,” he whines and I get on my knees to attempt the zipper. The silver zipper puller thingy falls off. “Ooh – can I … Continue reading Mommy Versus Nanny
A medicine cabinet is our open book. Accessible to any bathroom visitor, we present a historical medical scrapbook of our lives behind a hinged mirror door. It’s a treasure chest screaming to be explored; secret revelations waiting to be discovered. I recently opened my medicine cabinet to realize it was over flooding. It came as a shock to me since I’m not a big pill … Continue reading 2008 in the Medicine Cabinet
I met a boy, a man, a friend; I knew his face but not his name.I recognized his eyes;the man behind the clown. The clown gave me a heart balloon.The man gave me his name. He gave me his love. His life. His happy. I gave him my heart, my soul, my days. He didn’t guarantee the balloon wouldn’t popor that it wouldn’t deflate.But it … Continue reading Love Fragile. Love Floating.
I put off writing the ABOUT ME section of my blog for a long time. Partly because the Me changes so often. Partly because I don’t know how to stop once I start writing (especially about Moi). I tried to write a bio-type blurb and 5 pages of narcissistic crap came out. So I started a memoir. In the meantime I feel like I owe … Continue reading ABOUT ME
“How old are you mommy,” my six-year-old asked me recently. I’ve told him before but it must have been in another context. He’s asking for another reason. I’m not sure why.“34,” I answer.“That’s old,” he says. Later that night on the goodnight phone call to his dad, I overhear him ask the same question. This time he adds a follow up: “How old will you … Continue reading How Old is Old?
Life, by definition, comes with struggle. How we embrace this struggle defines us; it is forms our character. Brian Boyle is an example for all of us. He is testament to the cliché, “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.” Last October, Brian fulfilled his dream of competing in a triathlon (a 2.4 mile ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile bicycle ride, ending with a 26.2 mile marathon). … Continue reading Hope, Endurance, Inspiration
Happy Birthday! Happy New Year! Happy first something, happy last something, happy anniversary of your first or your last something! Humans love to wish each other happiness. And why not? Our country bestows us with, upon other rights, the pursuit of HAPPINESS. We are entitled and we want to claim it! There is a new breed among us – the self-realized happy seekers. With the … Continue reading Oh Happiness, Where Art Thou?
I never wanted to believe in fairytales because frankly, I’m a realist. But I’m also a liar and a coward. I hate mediocrity, yet I live my life just above it. It hurts so much to hear that I’m not trying hard enough, because I’m usually not. Why? Fear of failure? How could such a fear lead to such detriment? But now I think it’s … Continue reading Dreaming of Fairytales
When I travel, I am often fulfilling both a lifetime wanderlust and an attempt to understand human interactions. I wander around a new locale, often without a specific destination in mind – driven by merely an inclination, a small or a scenic vista. When you walk/explore the streets of a city or the back roads of a small town, you can truly experience life there. … Continue reading When I Travel
HeartsEverywhere 